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Post by minchoi0923 on Oct 13, 2012 22:34:33 GMT -5
I found the class discussion we had after Sageda's book presentation very interesting so I just decided to upload it here as well.
So basically, Sageda's book was about a girl who had to choose between a man who once broke her heart 8 years ago but came back and make her feel loved, and a man who truly cares about her and has a good career, but doesn't make her feel as passionate as the other guy.
In class, we had discussions whom we would choose if we were in that position. Who would you choose? A man who you makes you feel in love or a man with a bright future who cares about you?
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anica
Junior Member
Posts: 70
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Post by anica on Oct 13, 2012 22:55:26 GMT -5
If I were in that position, I would have to go with the man who makes me feel in love.. lol I'm assuming for this guy the characteristics might be sort of like this spontaneous guy, acting on the spur of the moment, and "you never know what's coming up next" type of guy as opposed to this guy with a bright future that actually cares for you. I would choose the first guy because it might be more adventurous and fun, but I guess my opinions might change as I grow older lol
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Post by alexkoo on Oct 13, 2012 23:54:56 GMT -5
I think without having good career or job, man can't make women feel loved. Looking from teenager's perspective, we may say that we should choose man who truly loves her, but from realistic perspective, we must choose man with good career. Even though he truly loves you, that can never be enough. I mean would you marry man with no money just because he loves you and you love him as well? Maybe you will love him temporarily, but you will end up leaving him because he can't do anything for you. So, lets be realistic.
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Post by julielu on Oct 14, 2012 1:44:46 GMT -5
I would choose the guy who truly cares about me and has a good career. For me, it didn't cost lots of time to choose between the choices. It's dangerous to stay with a guy who is not stable with his love. Once woman got divorced, it will be really hard to get marry again for the woman. Her life will be totally ruined.
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joon
Full Member
Posts: 106
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Post by joon on Oct 14, 2012 3:53:19 GMT -5
haha I'm sorry Koo, but I have to disagree with you. It's just my opinion, but if a woman doesn't feel loved because her lover, who cares deeply for her and would do anything for her but can't give her luxurious things, then that woman is being foolish. Plus, I think it's society that made people think that a man must have a job that makes a lot of money. What about great men who have jobs that don't pay well, such as teachers? I think your claim is a bit too strong. I have seen people who love each other even after they have lost everything due to some unfortunate events. Sure, choosing a partner that doesn't have a good paying job will make you suffer financially, but money alone doesn't give you happiness. Plus, you both can always work together to be more successful in your environment.
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Post by jessicashim2013 on Oct 14, 2012 5:43:05 GMT -5
I like Joon's point but I agree with Alex. Someone who could bring me a bright future will make me happy. I don't think only love could make one happy. It could be okay for few monthes or even years but not forever. In reality you have to survive! Love is important but if the situation does not make me happy, there would be conflicts and struggling. I'm not sure if this is only for Koreans, but if you watch Korean dramas you can see how parents ask family background and the job they have. I guess it all relates with this point.
Anyways I would chose the person who loves me, cares for me, and has a bright future.
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Post by jinseong on Oct 14, 2012 6:38:49 GMT -5
I personally think that women should choose someone who really loves and cares about her. It is kind of obvious, choose someone who will make you happy. Even though at some point, women can be bored at a man who loves her but, if you look at the future, the women should now that he is the one who will make you happy. I agree with others saying that someone who you feel love is more important, however, I would be able to see the future of that relationship. Woman can go with someone who she feels true love but it is not guaranteed that he will love her too. Also, If you got tired of someone who you once felt love, How do you know that you might get tired of this relationship too as time passes? To conclude, I would choose someone who will make you happy in the future.
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Post by hannahs on Oct 14, 2012 6:45:47 GMT -5
I think I would prefer the guy that makes me feel like I'm in love right now but if I was to mature I think I would choose the guy that cares for me and has a bright future ahead of them. Someone told me that if you spend enough time with someone that cares for you and loves you, you can't help but to love them back. That can take years or days but in the end you will love them. The man that makes the girl feel like she's in love kind of sounds messed up because he broke her heart once so what guarantees that he won't do it again?
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Post by michellelee on Oct 14, 2012 6:54:06 GMT -5
I would choose the man who truly cares about me and has a bright future. I would want to be with the guy who can always be there for me, but according to what you briefly said about the story, the first man seemed to have left her for eight years. Furthermore, to be honest, I don't think I will be able to be happy and keep being passionate if there is no definite future.
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Post by junaen0416 on Oct 14, 2012 6:54:32 GMT -5
In my opinion, I would say that women always go for the person who has a bright future and will probably take a good care for her. Because in reality, that's what we observe and that's good since you know you are secured and well-protected. You won't have any trouble of knowing what will happen unless the woman cheats on her caring husband and goes for the man she loves. This in turn will create havoc in society. Relations will get messed up and that will give the woman a bad name. I know I come from different society, well, that's how women role in our society.
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Post by franicaza95 on Oct 14, 2012 8:20:55 GMT -5
i honestly feel that both are a bit important when being with smeone and looking ahead. but like many say, money isnt everything. there have been many cases where a couple isnt completely happy but they have eveythign and other cases where there are couples that gain enough money to live but not to have luxurious stuff and are much more happy. many women probably do dream with a man who is both economically stable and obviously a person who you feel secure and loved by but happiness is very important, that my main point.
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Post by Alam10kkfs on Oct 14, 2012 8:33:21 GMT -5
I would choose the person who can make me fall in love with her. Some people are really hard to fall in love with someone else, they fake their feelings and rejects the love. I would say that if i had to choose money or love, i would choose love. Think of this, if someone offered you a trillion of money but you have to do one thing for that money, you have to execute your mom for, what do you say? love or money huh? love talks bro!
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Post by jessicak016 on Oct 14, 2012 10:01:33 GMT -5
I would choose a man, who cares about me and has a bright future. The first man that you talked about broke up with the girl 8 years ago. Even though you love him and he makes you very passionate, he could still break up with you like 8 years ago.
And in my view, although I might not love guy, who cares about me and has a bright future, in the beginning, I would start liking him as the time passes, and eventually love him in the end.
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hafizh
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by hafizh on Oct 14, 2012 10:03:19 GMT -5
hahaa i totally agree with joon's opinion. i think this girl should just go back to that guy who could make her comfortable and deeply in love. because no one could ever promised future, there are ups and downs in life. and the other reason why the girl should chose him, even they have financial problem, they could face it together with love and joy.
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Post by sarahlee4 on Oct 15, 2012 6:43:49 GMT -5
I think that if I were to choose between the two, I would choose the guy that makes me feel loved. Even if the relationship with that guy didn't end out good 8 years ago, who cares? That was way long ago. He came back because he realized what he had lost and he now knows that shes the girl for him. I think that giving and getting love from each other is better than knowing that this other guy just cares for me but has a bright future. I dont know, I think that if you truly love someone, it doesnt matter what job that person has, where that person comes from, or whatever. If you truly love that person, the only think you should consider is your love for each other.
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